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19 November, 2017

Storytime: I'm going clubbing!

I've decided to share one 'night out' story with you. If you've been reading some of my older posts, you know I'm kinda socially awkward, with very few friends, I almost never go out like clubbing (last time I was there was 4 years ago?). With that being said, I kinda went out with people that are not even my best friends. To fill you in a bit about our relationship, I'll just say we are good and we hang out at college, but we've never been out together. We rarely even have coffees together. To make it more not my style, there were some other people invited which I don't even talk to (not because we're not in good terms, we just never started a conversation and we don't have many topics beside college to talk about either). I have no idea why I said 'yes' to this, so not my thing!
Last night started pretty OK, casual with lots of drinks and laughing. Although I didn't make some connection with these other people, I wasn't uncomfortable and I just tried to have a good time. The night was going great. Music kinda sucked, but it was all in all alright. Then we ran into more people I didn't know (and at some point I was left with a group of totally unknown people) and some people I really really really (!) dislike. Immediately, I felt nervous. I felt like I'm not myself anymore and like I'm thinking about my every move and how they're gonna see me and what they're gonna think of me. So there was that. Then, after few very awkward moments I wish not to share even here, my group decided to go home. A girl I met just 20 minutes ago was left alone cause everybody left to the toilet so I stayed with her. My friends and I had a misunderstanding so they actually left me there. However, I left after about half an hour. There are two reasons why I stayed "so long": music was really great and I haven't been in a club for 4 years! So yeah.
I know I haven't given you many info about this night, but I wanted to share how my evening went from "this is gonna be a great night after all" to "God, why?" in just few hours. I know I have this problem where I overthink everything and I care about other people's opinions way too much. But that's me. Every time I go anywhere, I know this will be the case. It's just a matter of my mood and mostly people around me how that event will go.
Do you have any clubbing stories you'd like to share?

29 October, 2017

First, let me take a selfie...

OK, this song is so freaking annoying and thank God it's not popular anymore. Also, I always prefer pictures of myself taken by others than selfies, but this was a better title. I think.
So... I just got from coffee and a winter walk with my friends and they're sending me pictures of myself so here's my topic. It took me about 20 years until I learned to like myself. And I didn't write love for a reason. But, there are still times where I think the worst of me and there are also those times when I think I'm the queen. A lot of people don't know, and I include my family and friends into this, I have a really really low self esteem. My close ones maybe don't realize that cause I'm pretty comfortable with them so I don't show it as much, but I usually feel less something (I was going to write worthy, but that's a strong word, so I don't know). And I don't go out much and I don't have many friends. So, there are times when my friends and I get together for coffee, walk, movies... whatever. And then I usually go full glam with hair, make-up and clothes. And I kinda push them into taking pictures. For two reasons. I really want to have pictures with them because I love them and I want memories of most random days. But there's also a reason of me looking good there. And I keep all photos of myself in one folder. I usually go there when I'm feeling really down to remind myself that I'm worthy, that I do look good, that I look pretty when I smile, that I deserve it all. As egoistic as this may sound, with self esteem like mine, I need to remind myself of these stuff. And now that I have Instagram, I post some of the pictures. I do not need likes or comments. I need to post them because if I find a picture that I'm actually satisfied enough to post, it's a win for me. Mentally. Some people can't understand it, but I find lots of negative stuff in me so something like this is a confidence boost. And I think my friends are getting tired of me asking for pictures and I don't want to tell them I need those so I could pull myself from the bottom every now and then.
Now I also have to say that most of the time I go out without any make-up, casually dressed and with a perfectly good mood and image of myself. But there are these few days a month where I feel like sh*t and I need a reminder. Also, since I started this whole thing with pictures and folder full of myself, I really think I boosted my confidence and I feel better in general. And that's a huge win!

22 October, 2017

Movie review: Billionaire Ransom (2016)

Note: Plot has spoilers (obviously, duh), but you can read all the rest without me revealing anything.

Info: Billionaire ransom (somewhere called Take down) is a 2016 movie starring Jeremy Sumpter as a lead role of Kyle Hartmann, Pheobe Tonkin as Amy Tilton and Ed Westwick as Billy Speck. Although Kyle is the lead character, there's a group of his new friends and enemies that the plot revolves around. This action, adventure and crime movie is 1 hour and 47 minutes long.


Plot: Kyle is a rich kid that gets himself in trouble when he crashes his car after getting slightly drunk at the party where he met Amy. He gets out, but leaves Amy to die. His father takes care of everything as Amy survives, but sends him to Scottish camp designed especially for rich children that need to learn how to grow up and take responsibilities. Once Kyle gets there, he meets more rich kids who all learned to live by the rules there. There's also Amy who tells everyone what he did although Kyle swears he doesn't remember what happened that night. After finally realizing that he can't beat the system there, Kyle starts acting by the rules and actually starts enjoying his time there. Amy also points out that she is free there for the first time ever. Suddenly, a group of criminals, with Billy as a leader, invades the island and takes everybody as hostages, except Kyle who wasn't in the room when they barged in. Kyle then runs away and figures out a plan to rescue his new friends after seeing all guards are dead. After rescuing his friends, group splits into two and they start a war against these criminals. Some of them actually kill some criminals. However, they often get into life and death situations. Amy also saves Kyle's life. While taking care of hers wounds, Kyle kisses Amy. When the plan to disable Billy and not kill him goes wrong, there's a final fight between Kyle and him. Kyle eventually throws Billy off a cliff and Billy dies. In that time, parents of the kids, who were blackmailed for one billion dollars ransom the whole time, come with the police. It turns out Amy's step-father arranged the whole thing so he could get the money she inherited from her late father.


My impression: I really liked this movie. I always love when characters change for the better so I loved that here too. I also really liked the romance part here which is very subtle and short, but sweet. I also didn't feel like it's almost 2 hours long. Somehow it seemed a lot shorter as there's always some action in the movie. What I didn't like were all parts when we're drawn back to their parents. Their plot was kinda boring and not that necessary. It also breaks all emotions and intensity of the plot on the island.


Recommendation? Comments on imdb say people really like it. I know I did. You would probably think it's Chuck Bass against Peter Pan, but I see something more here. There's some progress in young guy's mind and there's a good message how you can accomplish something if you work as a team. Also, all racial and status problems are resolved as the time passes and how this group evolves. Also, I liked watching Jeremy the whole time.


Did you watch this movie? Please tell me your impressions if you have or if you will!

27 September, 2017

"There's 2 types of people in the world" challenge

I wrote a post here 2 months ago. I didn't think it was that long.
Since I finally sat down and decided to write here, I came up with a challenge to put myself in some of the categories in "there's only 2 types of people" sayings. The rule is that I have to put myself in one category even if I'm in the middle. So I really have to think about myself and decide which one I am more. I did something similar in my post Typical girl vs. me so check that out too. Let's go.
  • wearing a bra vs. not wearing a bra - wearing it
I can't understand girls/women who can't wait to take off their bra. I sometimes fall asleep with it and don't mind at all. I also feel really weird whenever I'm not wearing it (like only when I'm in my PJs).
  • manicured nails vs. non-existent manicure - manicured nails
I love my nails and nail art and all that goes with nails. I love trying out different shapes, painting them and just playing with nail polishes. Even plain painted nails look 100% prettier to me.
  • girl who wears pink vs. girl who wears black - black
Not that I don't wear colors, but pink really isn't my color. But for clothes in general, I prefer black and dark colors.
  • tidy room vs. messy room - tidy room
I like to have everything in its place and so I would know where something is. My room is quite small so I can't afford to be messy. And it's seriously not pretty to see a messy room.
  • ponytail vs. hair falling down - hair falling down
I wear ponytails only when I'm working out (so never) or when my hair is kinda greasy. I also sometimes put it in a bun or ponytail when I'm at a concert.
  • one alarm vs. 10 alarms and snooze button - one alarm
I get up at the first buzz of my phone and I never fell asleep if I know I really have to go somewhere or do something. I immediately get up and my day starts.
  • eating pizza crust vs. not eating pizza crust - not eating pizza crust
I'll eat it if the pizza is fresh and the dough is still soft. However, if I'm eating the same pizza next day, I'll most probably leave the crust. Also, my mom really loves the crust so I usually leave it to her.
  • sending multiple texts in a row vs. sending one text - sending one text
It depends on which platform I'm using, but I send multiple texts in only one and that's if I'm having problems with keyboard or something else. I get pretty annoyed with multiple texts.
  • being late vs. being on time - being on time
I'm actually early in 99% of cases. I like to calculate some extra time in case something happens in traffic or something like that, so I'm usually at least 10 minutes early (more like half an hour).
  • using upper numbers on keyboards vs. using numbers on the right - using numbers on the right
I don't know if I ever used numbers on top of the keyboard for really numbers. I got used to this arrangement and I can't go any other way.
  • cutting sandwich in the middle vs. cutting sandwich diagonally - cutting it diagonally
I actually never cut my sandwiches or toasts, but if I did it, I would do it diagonally cause a toaster that we had 1000 years ago had it like that so I thought that was the only proper way.
  • iOS vs. Android - Android
I never used iOS (so an iPhone) and I immediately went from those old phones to Android smart phone so I'm so used to it by now I can't imagine using anything else.
  • full inbox vs. empty inbox - empty inbox
I read all my messages and emails so there's always some order. I don't mean empty as I have to delete everything, but there are no unread or unanswered messages.
  • ketchup on fries vs. ketchup beside fries - ketchup on fries
I really don't care and it depends actually what I'm eating, but I'm more likely to put it on my fries. Dipping fries with a fork in ketchup always ends up with a fry stuck in ketchup and empty fork.
  • files in folders vs. files everywhere - files in folders
When it comes to my computer, I'm really organized person. I love putting everything in designated folder and it makes my life so much easier. I can't stand desktop full of random icons.
  • lunch at 1 p.m. vs. breakfast at 1 p.m. - lunch at 1 p.m.
I go to sleep really late and I get up really early. I usually sleep only 4 to 6 hours, but I'm fine so far. I also hate to waste the day with sleeping in late so I'll definitely eat lunch by 1 p.m.
  • toiler paper towards wall vs. toilet paper outwards - toilet paper outwards
Since I've been raised with toilet paper always being outwards, it's normal that's the only way I can see it now. The other direction looks really weird to me and I can't use it like that.
  • breaking chocolate into pieces vs. biting chocolate like a sandwich - breaking it into pieces
Whenever I eat chocolate, I almost never eat alone so I can't just bite it. Also, I never even thought of it. There are marked lines and rows and I'm going to use them.
  • eating in bed vs. eating at the table - eating at the table
I can't remember if I ever ate in the bed something else than chocolate or candy. Even then I keep this food on the side table or floor and I'm never lying down, but sitting. No, I don't eat in bed.
  • Batman vs. Superman - Batman
For some unknown reason, I feel very much in love with Batman. I love those movies (yes, even those that are considered crappy). Don't know why, but I'm totally a Batman girl.

I could have done more, but 20 seemed like a good number for this post not to be too long. Also, if you want to see any other category, just comment below and I'll either answer it or make a part 2 of this. Since this is a challenge, I'll tag some people, but anyone is welcome to join in. If you write this list, send me a link so I can read it.
I just Googled "two types of..." and chose some. You can do these or make up any other that you want.

I tag (don't feel obligated to do this & choose any x vs. x categories you can think of):
That's all :) Comment which categories you're in :)

24 July, 2017

My mom is too old...

Hi.
Quick info in the beginning. My mom is 52 years old now. I'm 22. OK, now I can start.
My mom and me had the same fashion taste for quite a long time. We wear each other's clothes and we are perfect shopping duo for most times. However, she recently started to change her wardrobe because "she's too old for this". I feel stupid for even needing to say this, but here it is: anyone can wear whatever they want. Now that we know that, I also have to say that I'm a firm believer in dressing according to your age. I don't like seeing granny in mini skirts, for example. Thankfully, my mom feels the same. But it never struck me that she's now 'that older lady'. I still see her in her early 40s (she was about 35-40 when I started noticing people around me and when I transferred more into her world from being a baby). She threw away her shorts and now that we have summer going on here, she needed some light clothing. I offered my shorts and she refused as they are too short (my shorts come to mid thigh area). I was so surprised that she said she is "too old". I've been with her for 22 years and, I guess, I stopped thinking about it. Also, another thing why I don't see her as too old is because she honestly has the better figure than 22-year-old me. I'm writing this now cause the thought of my mom being old was never on my mind before she said so. Although I'm aware that she is not actually old, for me, 50s are the start of the last part of life. And that scares the sh*t out of me. I know I'm overthinking this, but I can't get it out of my head. My mom thinks she is old. And she will always be 40 to me. She'll always be in her best age, looking the best she ever did.
Anyway, not to bore you with my mom not wearing shorts anymore, I'll end it with a question. How do you see your parents? Are they getting older in your eyes? This is so weird to me. Haha.

Comment below your thoughts on this topic!