31 January, 2014

Bit of personal

Hi for the second time today :))
I was looking at my blog archive and I realized that I haven't posted anything personal for a while. I know I don't have to but I started this blog like that, describing my world to you. I have a lot on my mind these days... I'm fighting with myself over my college exams and I am probably more afraid of school than I ever was. This is pretty much taking all of my time. Just worrying about my future. I really hope I won't mess that up. Also, I was looking at some old pictures of my friends on Facebook. I've read some comments that I wrote to them: "Hello sexy!", "Beautiful", "Love you, it's been too long since I haven't seen you"... And these were all obviously my good friends. I was apart from this girl for few months (it was around the time when we started high school and these are my elementary school friends) and I missed her so much. I haven't seen or heard form her in about 4 years now... God, it's killing me. Unfortunately, she's not the only one. I have 5 (or more) friends with the same situation. I know our lives drifted apart but I'm very emotional and sentimental person and this kind of feelings and situations are killing me. More by the day. Don't get me wrong, I really love my friends (often referred as "Fiba" in my posts) and I'm trying to make some new friends for life in college, but that doesn't mean that I don't miss my old friends. They have a special place in my heart and they'll always have it. The really sad part is I am not sure they feel the same. I think they forgot what we had and experienced. I'm too afraid to ask them, to contact them because I fear that we won't have anything to talk about. That way I would only confirm that we're not what we used to be and I don't think I'll ever be able to accept that. That's me. Since we're talking personal and honest, I was in neutral mood today. Nothing good, nothing bad... (I had one little bad situation, but nothing big.) And, as I'm writing this now, I'm falling in deeper and deeper depression. I can feel a tear on my cheek but I'm not giving up. My heart can handle this. Hell, I've survived worse feelings than this. But, for now, today, this evening, this is what will set my tears running down my cheeks. That and "Listen" by Beyonce. God, I love that song. It's so me! Well, I better leave you before I really start to cry my eyes out and my parents find out...
It's OK to be emotional. Stay well :*
Love you like you can't even imagine!


  1. Honey, don't be depressed. People come and go in life, but those who stay are the best of friends! Fiba is with you, and it will be even though we can't see each other as often as we would like to. But that's the point, I think. You know you have a great friendship when you can see each other after a few weeks and still have that same atmosphere :) so keep your head up! <3

    About the former friends, you can always randomly invite them all for a group date. That way you can all catch up, it won't be awkward because you won't be one on one, and you can see how you feel with them. If you feel like it's the same as it was before then nothing is stopping you to try and fix it. And if not, at least it won't be killing you anymore.

    I hope it helps :*

  2. You always know what to say :* I love Fiba, I know what I have there...
    well, I think I'm gonna contact one by one at least on Facebook to see where we are. You know me, I'm not depressed all the time over this, it just hit me last night... And it will probably repeat after some time, nothing unusual I guess :D

  3. I know, I know. :)