20 March, 2014

Moody all day

How was your day? I hope it was better than mine. All day I've been in a weird mood and I can't actually tell you why. I have no idea. Nobody noticed in college. My fake smile worked. Like it does every time. I think it has something to do with a romantic movie I saw last night. My emotions were all over the place and I think it kept me in this mood today too. It was just one of those days when you feel like crap and you absolutely don't want to do anything. Add a bit of sadness and you'll get my day. I'm a bit nostalgic too. I miss everything and everybody. I miss my old friends, I miss Mr. M., I miss my brother... I feel empty today. As I did yesterday. I'm sure you know what I am talking about. I really hope this feeling will pass till tomorrow cause I really hate being like this. It usually doesn't last long, so I hope for the best. The most irritating question while you're feeling like this is: "What's wrong?" You can't really describe cause actually nothing's going on, but there still is something. And it is more annoying if it's asked by your parents. Just leave me alone, to be sad for a day and I'll be fine. I know my mom wants to help, but she doesn't know when to back off. That's why I don't tell her everything. I wish I could share my story with someone. The sad part is I've had the same "problems" and thoughts since I was a kid. So, I didn't handle anything. I didn't make peace with anything. I'm just putting everything in boxes until they're full. Like tomorrow, or today. And then I feel awful for a while and than I can move on. It's just how I function. There are times when I hate it, but it's me. I have to live with it if I have no strength to change something. (...) So, no mom, I won't tell you what's wrong. I can't. I don't know. You wouldn't understand. I need tomorrow. My friend to cheer me up, my brother to take me out a bit and I'll be fine.
So, I really wish you all a good night :)
Feeling kinda like this....

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